29 Dec 2007

4 Reasons Why 2007 was Shite

How do, nothing much happening recently hence the slowdown in posts, Christmas does that to ya, sours the fucking atmosphere and for around 5 days nothing is as funny as it should be, and I'd like to be posting good funny stuff on a regular basis! Anyhow, I thought I'd do a rundown of 2007 and voice some biased opinions on few certain things, I've got a feeling alot of what I'm going to write here will be negative with a dry satirical slant so I'd stop reading now if your not feeling it!

Apple I-Phone:
Alright if your reading this in the USA it could be different scenario for you guys, but here in the UK Apple and O2 (the network provider) want to charge British citizens almost £1000 for a mobile phone. £270 for the handset and £35 per month for 18 months. You can't just buy the handset and pop in your own sim or anything like that, you are locked into spending a fortune on a over hyped calculator your probably only going to call your mum on and text the missus. I say calculator but in reality the gadget is mental, I've had a play with one and it's like having a powerbook or something, it's ahead of it's time, but so it should be, it's 2008 gadgets could technically be even better but I think the mobile phone industry puts a block on alot of sweet stuff to maximize profits i.e sell inferior handsets with a limited shelf life to keep the ball rolling, if we'd have got the i-phone 5 years ago it'd be the i-pod of the mobile phone industry thus having the larger market share eliminating the opportunity of other brands capitalizing on humans unfortunate desire to "have the best" product on the market.
I think the I-phone is a luxury, if you work hard and can afford to have one then fair enough, it would be nice though to see mankind take the initiative for once and not buy into what the corporate gods tell us to, the throw away culture is getting mental.

Shit People in the Media:
There's too many fucking shit people in the media, i'm talking Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty that whole scene, if I wanted to see a smack head when I open my paper every morning I'd sit outside a paper shop in Beeston at 7am while the rats que up for methadone at the chemist. Wanabe heroin users in my opinion shouldn't be in the media, they serve no constructive purpose in society. It's cool for this scene because they can afford a habit, i'd love to get a grip of the pair of em and take them round an estate to let them witness the real destruction of hard drugs, community's collapsing, family's torn apart all the while these muppets are staggering about on the pages of the paper. The media needs to get a grip and WE need to get a grip, if we showed a complete disinterest in what they are upto they simply wouldn't be there. Suppose it's contradicting of me to say that seeing as I'm having a gripe about them, but you know someones got to say sumit! Kids take note, there's nothing at all wrong with being a regular bloke who go's to work and supports himself and his family, trying to be as cool as shitty Pete is a cop out, smarten up, get a job.

Got any I.D:
I've been legally allowed to buy and consume alcohol now for 8 years and 2007 was the year I've been asked to provide I.D for alcoholic beverages the most. That includes 1999 when I was underage and buying alcohol. I have a strong opinion on this and why it's happening, here's what I came up with.
Labour want to introduce I.D cards in England, although at a cost of £5.4BN how can it be justified, already people are not into it. It clearly costs too much and in the free western world a feeling of big brother looking over our shoulder is just too much. But, if you're between the ages of 21-30 (ample age to start voting may I ad) I.D cards start to become more sense, especially when you are stood at the counter with a bottle of wine and the 16 year old cashier asks for I.D embarrassing you, and them in the process. If your over 21 the likely hood of you purchasing a bottle of 2005 Pinotage Cinsault red for teens waiting outside is probably about 1000/1 if that. In conclusion, to secure votes, and to secure the introduction of I.D cards which, benefit for a government is priceless. Labour upped the age of how a person looks to buy alcohol in a scheme which can only be described as cunning. Old people won't vote for them, it'l be us, the 20 somethings who have a hard time buying a pint, they have tricked us into wanting them issued using embarrassment and a feeling of insecurity at the till.

The Smoking Ban:
Just to make it clear, I'm not a smoker. Although smoke has been sifting through pubs for about 1000 years. To me smoke gives an establishment atmosphere, the effects of alcohol are greatly increased when your eyes are soured with the effects of cigarette smoke. What was planned with the ban was freedom of choice, i.e people like me can nip in for a pint without being effected by smoke, but hang on! if I didn't want to be effected by smoke I'd go into a public house that was either non smoking or had an area for people to sit away from smoke. So intern my freedom of choice has been stripped. If folk don't like smokey pubs, don't go in them!!! There's men who have fought a war for this country, who are now in their 80's who have to sit outside in the freezing weather with their pipes or whatever, it's just not on. As many people know i'm a keen cyclist, are they going to ban cars from the roads? My lungs are always full of fumes after riding for a while. I think not....