"What fackin tool"
x6 Knives/blades
x2 Screwdrivers
x1 Corkscrew
x1 Golf club
x1 Metal baseball bat
x1 Mallet
x2 Wrench handles
x1 Claw hammer
x1 Metal bar
According to this story from the bbc site http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7408998.stm
A gang of 24 teenage lads were arrested on Saturday night in London, a bus driver alerted the police when the gang jumped onto the top deck of the bus. The driver locked them on board while the police came and searched em! The bobbies found a right cache of weaponry as listed above. Although is it weaponry? how can x24 young men justify carrying that much equipment on a bus, on a Saturday night in Europe's new capitol of gang warfare? I'm here to decipher this mystery on behalf of the boisterous group of hoodys and the dad's in London who were left crying into their tool box's on Sunday morning!
Judging by the presence of a corkscrew these chaps could be attending an evening party. It's clearly stated now that wine is becoming more and more popular as society shifts further up the social ladder, middle class is almost the majority in ol' blighty these days. Which could also explain the golf club, I doubt this was taken to be used as a weapon in a gang fight, I'm thinking after a heavy night on the vino a casual game of golf the following Sunday morning would be on the cards to ease the hang over!
It's fact that any house party/social gathering with a buffet and music can be plagued with electrical problems! Pre party I'd assume in this case a speaker went down and a round of txt messages were sent out to the guests attending by the host "hey guys, just to let you know a speaker has gone down, anyone got a decent philips head driver they could fetch over, cheers" Easily explains the screw drivers.
One of the chaps, lets call him "Dave" is an apprentice joiner, he had to work Saturday on a big job at the gaffers house! Problem with that is he ended up working pretty late on and didn't really have chance to get home and changed. Inevitably he left his tool belt on, well you can't just leave your tool belt know what I meen. It had to come with him. You can leave your parents in an old peoples home, leave the dog in the kitchen for 3 days, leave the kids locked in the house for 2 weeks while you and the missus do one to Tenerife but history has it you can't leave the tool belt anywhere. The belt contained x1 claw hammer, x1 mallet and a stanly knife with x1 spare blade. Dave was en-route to the bus stop to meet the rest of the crew, he walked passed a fancy dress store which was just closing. In walked Dave and asked the tall grey haired man behind the counter "hyer mate, I'm going to a party tonight, it's not fancy dress or anything, but I need to get out of these work clothes do you have anything?" the man behind the till told Dave that "the store doesn't really have that much in at the moment, although we do have a "Freddy Krueger" costume, which is quite subtle if you don't wear the hat/mask and authentic bladed glove". Dave accepted, the outfit looked pretty emo with the stripey top and black pants, he wanted to leave the hat/mask and glove but the man insisted he must take them as part of the contract of hire. So Dave, now looking abit better than in his work clothes dashed to the bus stop. On the authentic "Freddy Krueger" glove are x4 metal (but not sharpened) blades.
While the 24 lads were stood at the bus stop, a 1995 cream nissan micra pulled up into the bay where the bus parks. A man of oriental appearance jumped out of the drivers side, he looked down at the front right wheel and shouted "shitttyy flat tires" in an oriental style tongue. The man is a delivery driver for a local Chinese takeaway and he appears to have a puncture in his micra. On the passengers seat is a vast quantity of oriental style food ready for delivery and going cold. The gang, being good samaritans offer the gent a hand in getting the spare wheel on. The driver accepts, opens the boot gets the spare out, a car jack and tools. One lad helps jack the car up and two others use x2 wrench handles to remove the wheel nuts. They were pretty stiff so it took some work. After a few minutes they have the spare on for him, the driver is very greatfull and hands out a round of prawn crackers as a thank you. As they tighten up the last wheel nuts the gang see their bus approach, although it doesn't look like it's going to stop because the cream nissan micra has obstructed it's parking rendering it almost impossible for the gang to alight. In a blind panic the gang run after the bus as it shoots past the stop, in the rush the 2 lads tightening the wheel nuts end up keeping hold of the wrench handles and the lad who jacked the car up ended up keeping hold of the metal bar from the car jack as they ran after the bus. The bus stopped at a set of traffic lights a tad further up the road and the gang managed to alight there. The delivery driver pulled up at the side of the bus and the gang beckoned to the driver of the nissan that they still had a small selection of his tools with them and that the crackers were great, the driver said keep them or donate them or what ever??? Which quite clearly explains the x2 wrench handles and metal bar.
On the lower deck of the bus that night was a young girl coming back from a rounders tournament! She and her team had done really well, making the finals but unfortunately losing. The bus driver by this point had become suspicious of the gang, so he called the police, the police had told him to get everyone off the bottom deck of the bus and lock the gang in there, "more officers will be with you soon" they said. So the driver parked up, as the other passengers disembarked the bus the young rounders player accidentally left her trophy behind which was a small brushed silver aluminium rounders bat with a ribbon around it which had "2nd" emblazoned across it. Wondering why the bus had stopped for no appropriate reason, one of the gang members from the upper deck came down stairs and saw the trophy on the seat, he picked it up and banged onto the window at the small crowd gathered outside "I think someone has left this" he shouted. At that point the police burst onto the bus to arrest the 24 strong gang of ordinary party going young gentlemen. It all seems completely innocent to me guv'.